If this isn’t comedy gold, I don’t know what is.
Like all blogs, this blog gets its share of spam comments. With a heart full of gratitude to WordPress and Akismet for protecting us from spam, I offer to you a singular, spam-tastic treasure find. This appeared as a comment on one of our recent posts, and it tickled my funnybone.
It is not a spam comment, but rather a spam essay of rather epic proportions. I have put the most hilarious phrases in bold for your convenience.
I’ve evermore reasoning it would be ethical to have those not hold up under sport shoes in the service of when I do alfresco sports such as canoeing and dragon boating. These special sports shoes pamper to water outdoor sports in fussy because of the facetious adam’s ale neighbourly consequential it is made of. When I harmonize canoeing, I adapted to to either decamp a return to with my overt feet or slippers, but was always having problems with both. Being barren footed meant that I authority get burn close to any debris that may summarize when I prance on the sand or in the branch water while getting in or gone from of my canoe. When I sport slippers, occasionally it as a matter of fact gets in the way when my feet sink in the slime during low tide. It was when my slipper got stuck when I knew I had to organize an outside sports fun shoes. I decided to about of it as a exalted investment as it would ways better and cleaner feet. I don’t conscious why I didn’t ruminate over of getting such gambol shoes in the first place. I guess it was because my viewpoint of divertissement shoes was many times since race, and not for other open-air sports.
So when I truism the FiveFingers Alfresco Relaxation Shoes – Ebon (Size 42) on DealtoWorld.com, I was indeed stable I wanted it. Not only can I get a great double of out of doors shoes for my water sports, I can bear a fivefingers a particular! Not guaranteed why they call it fivefingers despite the fact that, since in point of fact the distraction shoes is in the contours of your five toes. This enables a advantage grip on where you step, which is conspicuously massive for walking on the seaside and skin-deep waters. I’ve forever been a adherent of “fivefingers” or toe socks, so this trendy out of doors shoes of wealth is making me more earnest with my weekend open-air sports endeavor.
DealtoWorld.com dependable made me a delighted camper this convenience life, letting me own this celebrated match up of romp shoes well-founded when I needed it. I’ve bought other lifestyle gadgets from DealtoWorld.com but this is the before perpetually I bought sport shoes from any online shopping site. I continually rationality it choicest to crack on any shoes, be it sport shoes, leather shoes, slippers, etc. or else you won’t be informed whether it’s a distinguished fit. Regardless, I couldn’t really discover admissible water out of doors sports divertissement shoes, so this get back has definitely enhanced my DealtoWorld.com shopping occurrence, or my online shopping as a whole.
With it when I count due to the fact that my weekly canoeing or dragon boating, my teammates are all incredibly amused nigh my fivefingers sport shoes, and stare at them against some time. I guess the toe-shaped relaxation shoes makes it look like a web of some kidney, but it’s not like I can swim in these fivefingers shoes. I’m finding the alfresco sports shoes very smug, and although I cannot beat a hasty retreat with it as I would with common management wear shoes, at least I can saunter along the pontoon or beach zone in gladden, atypical when I used to walk barefooted. My feet reach-me-down to damage or bring back scorched from the red-hot clay, but not with these fivefingers sport shoes I don’t. Take a look at the pictures to be wise to persevere how the fivefingers alfresco sports make a laughing-stock of shoes look like from the cork and bottom.
You just can’t make this stuff up! How does such a thing come to exist? Surely someone had to write this, which is hilarious to think about. Alternatively, some spam-creating machine inhaled a number of key search words and then vomited—which is also hilarious to think about. Perhaps it was written by some poorly paid translator who fudged his job qualifications and goes entirely by Google Translate. Perhaps it was just a spam-bot. If so, that is one hilarious spam-bot.
I challenge you to use this either as a writing prompt or as the inspiration for a visual art piece. Or you can write your own spam essay in which you attempt to sell some item, outrageous or banal. I would also love to see this text given as a lecture, á la “The Human Brain as Explained by John Cleese”—in fact, I’m now imagining ways to prolong the hilarity, to milk it for all it’s worth; a “Spam-Bot Lecture Series” might be just the thing. Any volunteers?
Whatever comes of this, I will post your piece here for all to see (unless it’s beyond awful… but that will be impossible given the hilarious subject matter!). I may even do one myself.
Also, my birthday is in December, and I am adding conspicuously massive romp shoes to the list. I would like to be able to prance on the sand and saunter along the pontoon, you see.