Run-ons, if you will.
Because I mean one of the truths about being a modern Western individual is that you likely have this idea about a person you want to be, and that person has a title even, a title like Young Professional or All-Around Good Person Of Above Average Intelligence, and to justify excessive ‘gaps’ in productivity by holding firm the belief that you’re “only human” and thus naturally lack sufficient motivation to do anything beyond obsessively watching YouTube videos and browsing reddit—where the premise of the idea of doing “anything beyond” obsessively watching YouTube videos and browsing reddit has, in a kind of relief, suddenly become sort of congratulatory, as if by doing “anything beyond” watching YouTube videos and browsing reddit you’ve become secretly heroic or are, just by not wasting oxygen, currently actualizing a person you want to be/ have always known you were/ are at your core—to justify your inaction with the belief that you’re “only human” is a behavior that stands in opposition of who you tell yourself you want to be and believe you are, if you have any Western-style aspirations at all.
Once you get past the awkward beginning (“because I mean…”), it’s actually an interesting thought. An interesting, or at least fairly articulate, thought. An articulate, single thought. That is a lot of words for one thought—which is, after all, what we are all trained to think of individual sentences as.
The second is “a VERY LONG one-sentence love story [in which there is] some use of semi-colons that could have been periods. I actually haven’t yet read through the whole thing!” Don’t worry, mom; no one will read the whole thing.
Happy Gregorian New Year, Peeps.
(I am wishing a happy new year to Peeps, the marshmallow candy, not to you turkeys.)