Brief Review of Salty Snack Foods

This post, like many of our others, raises the hard-hitting question: what is art? Does this silly conversation count as art? Our conclusion: who cares? We’re posting it anyway. Whatevskis.

***

Stephanie: In honour of what I’m eating right now, I think we should do a quick, dialogue-based blog post in which we rate snack foods as if we were, say, sports commentators or movie critics or something. But for snacks.

Stephanie: I will say that although Party Mix is kind of like potato chips’ annoying little brother that no one likes, I LOVE HIM/IT.

To extend the analogy: at first you think, “Oh, man, Party Mix? I wish there were some REAL potato chips around here. Party mix is okay, I guess, but remember how awesome chips are? I don’t know if party mix could ever be as good.”

But then you remember: there are Cheetos in there.

Case closed.

Chloë: Party Mix really is good. I like the tiny Sun Chips. Sun Chips, but cuter! It’s the pretzels that bring the whole thing down.

Stephanie: Hmm. I used to think that, but I think they’re necessary. Otherwise it’d be too much cheesiness. If there is such a thing. Plus, they bring in genuine salt, instead of that strange powdered substance that has salt in it somewhere but you can’t ever really be sure how.

Chloë: You make some interesting points. I actually have no qualms with Party Mix. It’s good stuff… but may I please put a good word in for another Humpty Dumpty product, an underappreciated one: Ringolos! So good!

Stephanie: YES. Especially because I just made the sad discovery that this workplace bag of Party Mix has no Ringolos in it. Sacrilege!

It can’t upset me too much, though, because as you know, I am married first to microwave popcorn and then to salt and vinegar chips. (Snack marriages are complex and polygamous.)

Chloë: They are indeed.

It’s interesting to me that Humpty Dumpty, a major potato chips player in the ’80s and ’90s, now basically rests all its business on Party Mix and Ringolos. What else do they still make? I don’t even know.

Stephanie: That is interesting. I don’t know what else they make. I think they sold the chips to Lays? I remember being distinctly upset about that. I also, strangely, remember the Humpty Dumpty commercial with Matthew Perry in it.

Chloë: Both of those things are coming back to me, now that you mention them. [Editor’s Note: Humpty Dumpty was, in fact, sold to Old Dutch. We were incorrect.]

My allegiances are: 1. Smartfood popcorn 2. Miss Vickie’s jalapeño chips.

Stephanie: We are so different.

Because I love popcorn, but Smartfood I could for sure live without. This is good because it just means we don’t have to fight over who gets the foods.

I remember when you came back to Canada you stayed with me and, one day, I came home from work and it was a bit of a Smartfood massacre. You had gone out and bought all the Canadian foods you missed.

Chloë: Yeah man, so worth it!

It’s good that they make so many varieties of salty snack, so we can all have just what we want.

Stephanie: Haha; “praise the multimillion-dollar food industry, set to kill us all!”

Chloë: Well as long as we’re moderate, we’ll be okay… but it’s hard to be moderate about snack foods.

Stephanie: “Moderate” is not how I would describe my relationship with snacks.

It’s more of a binge-or-abstain kind of love.

Anyway, you don’t actually have to put this on your blog. i just thought you might want a silly, easy post.

And I needed to declare my love for snacks, i guess.

Chloë: Fair enough. Silly, easy posts are excellent to have in between the heavy, time-consuming ones.

Stephanie: Yes.

***

Any favourites, readers?

Posted by Stephanie

Read Full Post »