This is Your Brain on Egg Puns

[UPDATE: We are now officially one of the top-three providers of egg puns to the Internet! Check it out:

And now for the original post…]

Anyone else remember that old PSA “This is your brain on drugs”? (I saw a hilarious spoof once: “this is your brain… with ham… and scallions” but I can’t find it anywhere.)

Well this is your brain on egg puns. It’s an email thread that played out over a day at work and it began when my friend Brian ran a few ideas past us for his blog, The Daily Mixed Metaphor. Brian and I used to have day-long pun wars all the time, but this is the only one I ended up keeping. Sometimes the jokes are quite a stretch but you have to give us credit for determination and ingenuity.

From: Brian
To: Chloe; Jennifer; Mary
Subject: Cracking mixed metaphors

You can’t walk on eggshells without cracking a few eggs.

You also can’t put all your eggs in one basket without cracking a few eggs.

Don’t count your chickens before you’ve cracked a few eggs.

From: Chloe
To: Brian; Jennifer; Mary
Subject: RE: Cracking mixed metaphors

Brian, you’re cracked. What an egghead you are.

From: Brian
To: Chloe
Cc: Jennifer; Mary

Omelettin’ you slide, this time, Filson.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

That was a pretty good yolk.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

I’m glad it didn’t go huevo-ver your head.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

You know, underneath that hard shell of yours there’s a pretty funny guy.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

You keep telling me that ova and ova, but I don’t believe it.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

Well don’t worry, becauzygote lots more where that came from.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

Egg puns are a dime-a-dozen, aren’t they?

From: Chloe
To: Brian

Yeah, as far as egg puns go, this language is pretty well oeuf.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

Well, just try to look at the sunny side.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

Trying to think of all these puns is really scrambling my brain.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

Are you saying you’ve been beaten?

From: Chloe
To: Brian

Never! Just sayin’ it’s the end of the day and the brain is starting to feel a little fried.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

Well, if you have a really good one to end the day with, then lay it on me.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

My quichetion is: do YOU have a really good one to end the day?

From: Brian
To: Chloe

When I said they were a dime a dozen, I think I was wrong- I only got up to a leaven.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

Some of these puns have been pretty rotten.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

Well, nest time we’ll have to do better.

From: Chloe
To: Brian

If I’m right, we can do better, but if  I’merengue, we can’t.

From: Brian
To: Chloe

With a little more effort we can hatch some real doozies.

From: Chloe
To: Jennifer; Mary
Cc: Brian
You guys have no idea. This is eggzactly what Brian and I do all day.

From: Brian
To: Chloe; Jennifer; Mary

I’ve spent the better portion of the afternoon hunting for good puns.

From: Mary
To: Chloe

Haha, well, you have my benedict-ion; these are pretty funny.

From: Chloe
To: Brian; Jennifer; Mary

OK kids, at this point I bow out; it’s time to leave. Smell ya later!

From: Brian
To: Chloe; Jennifer; Mary

P.S. : 100 points to anybody if they can use “albumen” in a pun. I was wracking my brain but I got nothing.

From: Mary
To: Brian; Chloe; Jennifer

Cockney accent: “Albumen pun, eh???”

Does that pass? I think it all boils down to whether you can guess what it means or not…

From: Chloe
To: Mary; Brian; Jennifer

Do you mean “a bloomin’ pun”? Do I get any points for guessing correctly (if I did)? That would be eggcellent.

From: Mary
To: Jennifer; Chloe; Brian

Yes, Chloë! That went over easy.

Guys guys guys I have news!!!!  Hens forth—ahem—

[Editor’s note: At this point, Mary told us some good news, but I’m not going to publish it here. Suffice to say, it’s awesome that despite her hatred of puns, she announced her news with a pun. What, you couldn’t figure out that she hates puns? Well, she does. She only participated in the pun threads because she is so competitive. Or so she claims.]

From: Chloe
To: Mary; Jennifer; Brian

By Chicken’s Ovate Spheroid! How eggciting, Mary. Congrats.

From: Chloe
To: Mary; Jennifer; Brian

On an egg-related note, this hilarious video, entitled “Egg Song”, was for a time rel-egg-ated to the recesses of my memory, but it has now appropriately resurfaced. I recommend it for your viewing pleasure and general mirth, when you have a chance.

From: Mary
To: Chloe

I need a break. You?

From: Jennifer
To: Chloe; Mary; Brian

Ahhh!! Don’t you people work?!?!

Nice one, Jennifer. The mother hen gets the last word.

Another great thing about this thread is that Brian and Mary are vegans.

If you leave a comment, it had better include an egg pun.

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